The ANVIL Newsletter

Apr 11, 2017

Why I Would Never Force my Kids to go to Church ~ RUTH MEYER



My parents forced me to eat three times a day growing up.  No joke.  Three times.  Every.  Single.  Day.  And it wasn’t always stuff I liked, either.  Matter of fact, I complained a lot about what my mom made.  “Ewww, gross!  Sauteed zucchini?  Seriously?  Mom, you know we hate this stuff!”  So as I approached adulthood I made an important decision.  Since my parents forced me to eat while I was growing up, I decided I was done with meals.  Oh, here and there I’ll eat out of obligation.  I mean, family traditions like Thanksgiving and Christmas, yeah, I’m there.  But daily eating?  No way.  I’m done.
Set in any other context, excuses people make for not going to church sound completely ridiculous.  But set in the context of Christianity, people say these things in all seriousness while others nod sagely in somber agreement.
My son told me a few weeks into school that he didn’t like the teacher.  He wasn’t getting excited enough about learning, and he didn’t really feel connected to the other kids in his class, so I told him he never had to go back to school again.  Who wants to waste their time going somewhere where they aren’t being fulfilled?
We’ve never forced our daughter to stay off the road when playing.  We don’t want to restrict her imagination.  We allow her the freedom to make her own choices in life.
Okay, Ruth.  Come on.  That one was just ridiculous.  No loving parent would ever say that.  That’s a safety issue- a matter of life and death.  Exactly.  And that’s just my point.
Church isn’t a place you go to get pumped up about life.  It isn’t entertainment like a movie or concert.  It is literally a life and death matter.  Eternal life.  Just as a loving parent wouldn’t allow their child to wander in the road or to quit school, a loving Christian parent also does not give the option to their children about going to church, learning Bible stories at home, and praying together.  Do your kids always jump for joy when they hear you say, “Time to get up!  Let’s get ready for church!”  No.  They won’t.  Do they get excited for school every morning?  Hardly.  But you still make them go.  Why?  Because you are the parent and you know what’s best.  Even when they complain, you serve them healthful meals and limit their junk food intake.  You set boundaries for their own safety when playing outside.  You insist they go to school because you’re looking at the long term picture.  And you are right to do those things.  How much more so are you responsible for doing all you can to secure their eternal well being?
Yes, kids can be brought up in a loving Christian home and still turn away later.  That’s on them.  But you, parents, have a task of the utmost importance.  God has placed these precious children into your homes for such a brief while.  You have them with you for perhaps 1/5 of their lives.  Set a strong foundation while they are under your roof.  Take them to church.  Make sure they understand that they are sinners and that Jesus is their Savior.  They are never too young to learn this.  My one-and-a-half year old sees a cross and excitedly shouts, “Jesus!”  Don’t use the excuse that “they wouldn’t understand this.”  Try them.  I don’t understand it all myself, but I still believe.  And you’d better believe that the Holy Spirit works in their hearts effectively.  My children sometime amaze me with the insights they pick up during devotions or Bible readings.  The strength of their faith often humbles me.  Once when I was having a terrible day, my oldest asked, “Can I pray with you?”  He was nine at the time.  He knows there is power in prayer.  He perceives that sometimes there’s nothing he can say that will make it better, so he’ll just go straight to the One who does have that power.  Do my own kids complain about church?  Yes.  Do they tell me it’s boring?  Sometimes, yes.  They say the same things about school.  But church and school are different environments for a reason.  School is centered around learning and thus has its own schedule and structure.  Church is a hospital for sinners.  That would be all of us, mind you.  You, me, the drug dealer a few streets away- all of us are sinners in need of a Savior.  So what do we do at church?  We confess our sins.  Why do we do this at the start?  To “wipe our feet” before entering God’s house, so to speak.  Then we are assured of forgiveness.  We hear God’s Word.  We sing hymns proclaiming what Christ has done for us.  We hear sermons where our pastors preach Christ.  We don’t go to church to hear what we have to do to gain heaven.  No, Christ did it all.  100%.  We can’t do one thing to merit salvation for ourselves.  That’s why we hear sermons about Jesus and not about us. We take the body and blood of Jesus in Holy Communion for the strength of our souls.  And we depart refreshed to serve God by serving our families, friends, and neighbors in Christian love.
So parents, don’t give in to outside pressures telling you not to force your kids to go to church.  Don’t give in to them, either, when they complain about it.  Because at some point an amazing thing happens- that kid who complains about church grows up and takes his or her own kids to church every Sunday.  Going back to my opening analogy, believe it or not, there came a point in my own life where I realized I actually liked sauteed zucchini (although I never would have admitted that to my mother).  Keep at it, parents.  Just as we need three meals a day for physical strength and nourishment, so do we need regular worship to refresh and strengthen our souls.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go make breakfast.
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Apr 3, 2017

To God Be The Glory ~ Royal Albert Hall Choir, London, England

...Oh come to the Father through Jesus the Son!


To God Be The Glory ~ Fanny J. Crosby

1. To God be the glory, great things he hath done!
So loved he the world that he gave us his Son,
who yielded his life an atonement for sin,
and opened the lifegate that all may go in.

Refrain:
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
let the earth hear his voice!
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
let the people rejoice!
O come to the Father thru Jesus the Son,
and give him the glory, great things he hath done!

2. O perfect redemption, the purchase of blood,
to every believer the promise of God;
the vilest offender who truly believes,
that moment from Jesus a pardon receives.
(Refrain)

3. Great things he hath taught us, great things he hath done,
and great our rejoicing thru Jesus the Son;
but purer, and higher, and greater will be
our wonder, our transport, when Jesus we see.
(Refrain) 

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Political Islam Explained ~ Bill Warner

Political Islam Part 1 ~ Bill Warner


Political Islam Part 2 ~ Bill Warner
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Love and Action ~ 1 John 3:18


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Switching to a Better Partner




By Terrell Harris Dougan


First I was married to a man who was totally wrong for me. He hid behind the newspaper for hours and ignored me when I tried to talk to him. He was an absent father to his two adorable daughters. He hated anything to do with household chores or gardening, so it all fell to me. I became bitter and resentful and felt very sorry for myself. On Valentine’s Day, as other wives got flowers, I got zippo.
Now I am married to a man who loves me to my toes, who brings me his special homemade latte in bed every morning along with the paper, who takes his turn doing the dishes or cooking when we’re home, and when he sees a certain look on my face that says the kitchen is closed, suggests we go out to dinner and a movie. He could not be more wonderful. Oh yes, p.s. I get fresh flowers every couple of weeks.
Oddly enough, it’s the same man.
We married each other before our brains were fully formed. He was twenty-one, I barely twenty. On our dates, he was attentive and fun. We liked the same things: movies and great food in fun restaurants. After he graduated, we wanted the security of each other, so without giving ourselves a minute and thinking it through, and without my even being pregnant (without even having sex yet - imagine that), we committed to each other for life. We had no idea how different we really were and what we wanted from each other.
I wanted passion, and play, and romance, and I wanted him to bring me flowers, like in the movies. He wanted to get the bills paid and to make sure our life insurance policies were the best ones. I made picnics for us to share by babbling brooks; he wanted to stay home and discuss tax-free municipal bonds with his broker. It felt as if I was fifteen and he was sixty. But that was just the beginning of the surprises to come.
I assumed our marriage would look like my parents’ marriage, in which, on weekends, my hard-working father mowed the lawn and planted flowers while my mother made him a fluffy coconut cake. We get these pictures in our minds, especially when we’re young and dumb. On the first warm weekend in spring, I started assembling the ingredients for coconut cake.
It was then he appeared with his golf clubs just long enough to say goodbye and good luck, and that was the program all summer. When it was wintertime, the time my father spent in the basement in his workroom repairing things, my husband grabbed his skis and left. It was a total surprise to him that I expected him to shovel the walks, as he informed me then that his mother had always done that job.
Over the next few years I had two baby girls, and we were abandoned almost every weekend. This made me very cranky, lonely, and desperate for another partner who realized I was alive and who cared about us and who could actually be there for his little girls.
I went to a psychiatrist and told her I wanted to run away. I told her all the reasons why I could not stay married to this man.
She asked if maybe she could meet this dreadful person and see if we could change him or if I should just run away. She said she had helped several women get out of marriages to truly psychotic, abusive husbands, and she’d be delighted to help me too. “But just to get a reality check on the situation, would you ask him to come to me for one hour?” she asked.
To my surprise, he agreed to go.
“Well,” she said, when it was my turn again, “I have to tell you that a lot of very inadequate men have come through this door and sat in this chair over the years. Your husband is not one of them. Frankly, he is a very mentally healthy man, and a peach of a guy. I think perhaps,” she said, looking hard at me over her glasses, “we should work with you.” He had obviously fooled her.
On the off chance that I could learn something, I decided to give her one more chance to see things my way.
She had work in store for me. “I want you to catch him doing something right, will you, please? Any little thing. And thank him like you mean it.”
Since he was in town all week, I noticed that he helped me clear the dishes, which he’d done every night he was home, but I had just taken it for granted. “Thank you for doing this,” I said to him. “It’s a big help.” He looked startled.
The next night he took us all out to dinner.
I thanked him for bringing in the mail. I thanked him for taking the girls for a walk. Catching him doing something right had a peculiar effect on him. Now and then he actually did the dishes. The things we discussed had changed, too. Instead of whining to him about all the repairs he was neglecting, I told him the good news of the day and he stopped ignoring me. After several months of visits to the shrink, she told me I was doing a good job of changing my husband. Finally, it dawned on my razor-sharp mind that I was changing me. It’s a rule we all know but forget so often: catch someone doing something right, thank the hell out of them, and you will have them in the palm of your hand.
“You’ve done a lot of work and I congratulate you,” said the shrink. “Now it’s his turn. You’ve earned it.”
He agreed to go again. “Do you want to stay married to this woman?” she asked him.
“Well, of course,” he said, glancing at his watch.
“Then we need to discuss your family trips. Your vacations center around skiing or golf, things you love.”
“That’s right,” he smiled.
“Your wife hates skiing. Your wife hates golf. She is a swimmer. She wants to go to the beach. She and the children want to swim with the fish, and run on the beach. You have never, in the fourteen years of your marriage, ever gone to the beach. Every time they suggest it, you refuse.”
“Well, that’s easy. I don’t like beaches. All that sand. And I hate to swim. I’m not a good swimmer.” He glanced at his watch again.
“Okay. Then let’s go back to the first question.”
He stared at her. “Well of course I want to stay married to this woman.”
“Look at me, not your watch, you stubborn bastard!” she shouted at him. “Try to grasp this concept! Your marriage is at stake! Beach. Warm water. Fish. Scuba. Snorkel. Make some reservations. Now. Or shall I just go ahead and call the lawyers?”
He staggered out of her office a newly terrified man.
That afternoon, he made reservations for a Hawaiian vacation for four. We had the time of our lives. He learned to scuba dive with me, and he is the one who has to pull my fin when it’s time to go up, as I could live down there and finally run out of oxygen. Perhaps our shrink, listening to my childish romantic fantasies, realized that what I need is a responsible guy to keep me from floating away completely, and what he needed was a romantic butterfly to get his head out of his income taxes and have some new adventures.
I don’t know if our marriage will make it yet, but we’re coming right onto fifty-two years, and we agree that around forty of them have been wonderful. He still loves his golf, and when he’s skiing, our two daughters and four granddaughters race right past him.
“Remember, the hard work of staying together is an investment,” the shrink had said. “It doesn’t take much to catch your partner doing something right and thanking him. If you can do it, you’ll discover the joy of sharing the same grandchildren.” Was she ever right.
Oh, yes. About the flowers. Of course he still doesn’t buy them. I decided to grow up and buy them for myself when I go to the grocery store. I always pull out a few and put them in a bud vase on my husband’s desk.
I have come to realize what is a really sexy sight: an earnest, responsible man paying his bills and paying his taxes. I have taught him the joy of underwater life. He has taught me the sexiness of tax free municipal bonds. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. I’ll take it in a heartbeat.
Below, a photo of Terrell and her husband on the French Riviera.
2012-09-19-IMG_3295.jpeg


Terrell Harris Dougan
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Mar 28, 2017

He is Able! ~ Greg Ferguson


He is able more than able
To accomplish what concerns me today
He is able more than able
To handle anything that comes my way
He is able more than able
To do much more than I could ever dream
He is able more than able
To make me what He wants me to be

He is able more than able
To accomplish what concerns me today
He is able more than able
To handle anything that comes my way
He is able more than able
To do much more than I could ever dream
He is able more than able
To make me what He wants me to be

To do much more than I could ever dream
He is able more than able
To make me what He wants me to be

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Justin and Trisha Davis's Story




Justin & Trisha's Story on 700 Club
"Coming Clean to Save a Marriage" 
~ Justin and Trisha’s marriage slowly deteriorated over ten years as kids and ministry took priority.
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Azusa Street Revival, Los Angeles ~ Witness Interview

Part 1

  • Very rare and interesting insight into the LA revival of 1906 from people that were actually there ! Both were healed from serious health problems and have powerful testimonies to share. This interview was made in the early 1970's.  These are first-hand witnesses!
  • Every biblical gift was evident!
  • Prayer meetings went on night and day for three years!  


Part 2


The Azusa St Revival from the first person perspective of the only survivors at the time of the interview.



Azuza Street Revival ~ A brief history.



Otis Clark


  • Lessons from a 107-year old evangelist, who was involved in the Azuza Street Revival, where he was baptized.
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Love and Discipleship ~ John 13:35


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Church Hunters ~ Part 1 ~ John Crist 😎

Sick of your old, boring church? 
Find a new one that meets YOUR needs with the new hit show Church Hunters ðŸ˜Ž

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Winter 2018/2019 ~ A Season of Reverence

The Meaning of Christmas!

He seemed relaxed on the comfortable open-area easy-chair that the mall had provided. Most of the Christmas shoppers had begun to leave for the day and the space was free from the tension and anxiety of the day. Perfect for some extra smartphone surfing or so he thought! His significant other was nearby doing some shopping in the not-to-crowded stores which gave him the free time, so he slumped into the comfortable chair. We began our approach. He seemed to be around 30 years old with an expressionless look on his face.

My colleague James and I wanted to ask him if he knew the meaning of Christmas, and perhaps move the conversation from the natural to the supernatural. Before our witnessing plans began, we had prayed that God would open doors for us and give us the right words to say. I'd brought along an icebreaker to start, so simply walked up smiling and in my friendliest voice asked "...hey can you tell me which of these cards is bigger?" I held up each of the 3" inch cards, one blue and one red. They had been cut in a semi-circle and one of the cards optically appeared to be much longer than the other, although in fact they were both the same identical size..

In barely a flash the conversation had begun and he had picked the "larger" card as his choice. The three of us shared a laugh as I then super-imposed them upon each other, clearly demonstrating that they were in fact both the same size...much to his amazement! I quickly continued, "....actually my friend and I are just here tonight in the mall asking people if they know the meaning of Christmas?

His instant and very lengthy reply was that Christmas originated as a Nordic tradition that involved reindeer, magic mushrooms and a host of select things and events I'd never heard of before. His detailed answer to our simply query told us he had actually in his own way put a lot of thought into some aspect of the spiritual world. His body likewise bore witness to our observation as we observed multiple silver skull rings decorating his fingers, while numerous occultist hand and arm tattoos embellished his exposed skin. A goatee seemed to confirm his preference of spiritual worlds as he began to tell us his chest contained a large tattoo of Satan. But he quickly added that during the past four years he had been thinking that the tattoo hadn't been such a good idea, and he was now sorry for that tattoo. He seemed very willing to listen to our version of the christian meaning of Christmas and yet sat solemn-faced as we conversed. He flat out told us that, "...I am a very bad person; and I do a lot of drugs. You'd be surprised who I am, but I'm trying to change my life". He introduced himself as Calvin and we all shook hands.

While he might have done a lot of drugs he was nonetheless still a very articulate young man capable of understanding right from wrong and how he could be better in life. He seemed genuinely glad to be talking about himself to us. His admissions seemed only to confirm that it was no accident we had come across this man who seemed to be searching for meaning to his life. But, he soon added that he just didn't see where Christians came from thinking that Christmas had anything to do with God. At that juncture, I offered the obvious; ....that the first 6 letters of Christmas were C H R I S T. A look of bewilderment overwhelmed his face as if a curtain had been opened exposing bright sunlight. For just an instant, a hint of smile crossed his otherwise deadpan face. This simple fact came as new information to his Nordic theory!

"...Well then what exactly is the Christian-meaning-of-Christmas?", he asked. It was at that point that I mentioned John 3:16, the well-worn verse that succinctly encompasses the meaning of Christmas.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

We went on to explain that we all have sinned, yet only Christ, God's Son offers us forgiveness from our sins if we will believe on Him and repent.

I continued, "It's like a courtroom scene when your facing a $5000. fine and just as the judge says you're guilty, someone steps up and pay the fine on your behalf and you walk away free; You are forgiven! ...that's what Jesus has done for us; He's given us forgiveness!"

Calvin suddenly looked surprised. "It's funny that you just mentioned the possibility of a $5000 fine, because that's what I was given; I was given a $5,280 fine a few years ago and I'm still struggling to pay it off!"

James and I continued explaining the gospel to him as we conversed for about twenty minutes. Again this was all new information to him and he seemed to be soaking up every word. There were frequent "off-the-wall" diversions while speaking to Calvin. He ventured into a number of crazy rabbit-trails, but we did our best to keep the conversation gently steering back to the gospel story. Noticing an authentic interest in the bible, James suggested that he should perhaps start discovering who Christ was by reading the gospel of John and he indicated he would like that. When James offered to provide him a bible, he said he'd get his own. Sensing it was time to wrap up the conversation, we asked if we could quietly pray for him in his search for spiritual things and Calvin couldn't have been more agreeable. My eyes watered slightly as I led in prayer asking for God's Spirit to draw Calvin toward himself as a seeker and reveal to Calvin who Christ was. Mission accomplished; Calvin was one step closer to understanding the meaning of Christmas!

"JESUS Bridges the Gap"

"JESUS Bridges the Gap"

Click Photo for a B767-300 Hangar Tour With My Boys!

Click Photo for a B767-300 Hangar Tour With My Boys!

B767-300 ~ My office with a view

B767-300 ~ My office with a view
Nerve Center at 30W over the North Atlantic (One dark night, about 1000 miles from shore). Just trust in the LORD, ...and take lots of gas!

Danae's Corner

  • Danae Marie Photography
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  • Jesus in the Pentateuch ~ By Danae

Editor's Posts

  • The Redemptive Names of God
  • The Meaning of Christmas! ~ Winter 2018/2019
  • The Cuba Edition ~ Spring 2018
  • Happy 99th Birthday Billy Graham! ~ Nov 2017
  • Crowding Out God ~ Fall 2017
  • Fall 2017 ~ Contend For The Faith!
  • Summer 2017 ~ I AM WHO I AM
  • PAOC, A Pioneering Spirit ~ Rev. Walter Reinheimer
  • PAOC Coastal Missions ~ Rev. Jacob Fehr
  • Spring 2017 ~ He Always Wanted To Be A King
  • Mutating DNA
  • Fall 2016 ~ A Season of Reflection -UNMUZZLE!
  • Spring 2016 ~ Saints and Sinners
  • How Spiritual are YOU?
  • Winter 2015/2016 ~ Teach Us To Number Our Days
  • A Stroll On Parliament Hill, Ottawa
  • FALL 2015 ~ A Season of Reflection; I Dare You!
  • Summer 2015 ~ Memories
  • Thoughts on Writing The ANVIL Newsletter
  • Call on the NAME!
  • The Sticky Valve
  • The DISCLAIMER
  • Arrested Spiritual Development
  • Summer 2015 - Humility
  • Blast from the Past! - Halton Hills Pentecostal Church
  • Spring 2015 - Build An Altar
  • Happy 2015 - Lessons About Finishing Well
  • Winter 2014/15 - Guard Your Heart
  • Talking To The Cults - Jehovah Witnesses
  • Faith in Progress
  • Company's Coming!
  • The Case for Christ
  • A Night to Ponder
  • Online Spiritual Gift Inventory
  • An Unprecedented Event is About to Occur!
  • First the flesh...then the Spirit! - Ezekiel
  • Are You All In?
  • 2013 Teen Challenge Freedom Ride
  • What does the Bible say about Faith?
  • Hosea, A Valentine's Story
  • Dead to Sin ....Alive to God
  • Sealing the Deal - Ephesians 1
  • Salvation is a Gift ....a work of Grace. - Ephesians 2
  • God Gives Grace To the Humble - Ephesians 3
  • So How Are Your Relationships? - Ephesians 4a
  • Forgiveness - Christianity 101 -Ephesians 4b
  • Not Even a Hint of Sexual Immorality - Ephesians 5
  • ANVIL Men's Ministry Report - 2012
  • Have you memorized Romans 6 yet?
  • Remembering Dad
  • What Happens When Boys Climb Trees?
  • Thoughts on Change
  • Exposing Humanism ~ Pt 1 Introduction
  • Exposing Humanism ~ Pt 2 Academia
  • Things Will Be Different
  • The Next Time He Comes
  • Revive Us

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ANVIL "Route 66" Through The Bible

ANVIL "Route 66" Through The Bible

Route 66 Bible Books Study

In Genesis, He is the Creator

In Exodus, He is the Lamb

In Leviticus, He is our High Priest

In Numbers, He is the Deliverer

In Deuteronomy, He is the Prophet

In Joshua, He is the Captain of our Salvation

In Judges, He is our Lawgiver

In Ruth, He is our Kinsman

In 1 & 2 Samuel, He is our trusted Prophet

In 1 & 2 Kings, He is our Reigning King

In 1 & 2 Chronicles, he is our Ruling King

In Ezra, He is our Faithful Scribe

In Nehemiah, He is the Rebuilder

In Esther, He is our Leader

In Job, He is our Ever-Living Redeemer

In Psalms, He is our Grand Shepherd

In Proverbs, He is our Understanding

In Ecclesiastes, He is our Wisdom

In the Song of Solomon, He is our Bridegroom

In Isaiah, He is the Prince of Peace

In Jeremiah, He is the Righteous Branch

In Lamentations, He is our Weeping Prophet

In EZEKIEL - He is the Pastor

In Daniel, He is the Fourth Man

In HOSEA - He is the Faithful Husband

In Joel, He is the Baptizer

In Amos, He is our Burden-Bearer

In Obadiah, He is the Mighty to Save

In Jonah, He is our Missionary

In Micah, He is the Messenger

In Nahum, He is the Avenger

In Habakkuk, He is God's Evangelist

In Zephaniah, He is our Saviour

In Haggai, He is the Restorer

In Zechariah, He is the Fountain of Life

In Malachi, He is the Sun of Righteousness

In Matthew, He is our Messiah

In Mark, He is our Miracle

In Luke, He is the Son of Man

In John, He is the Son of God

In Acts, He is the Holy Spirit,

In Romans, He is our Justifier

In 1 & 2 Corinthians, He is the Mystery

In Galatians, He is our Freedom

In EPHESIANS - He is our Riches

Ephesians Worksheet

In PHILIPPIANS ~ He is our Joy

In COLOSSIANS - He is the Fullness of the Godhead

In 1&2 THESSALONIANS - He is Our Soon Coming

King

In 1&2 TIMOTHY - He is our Mediator

In TITUS - He is our Faithful Pastor

In PHILEMON - He is our Friend

In HEBREWS - He is our High Priest

In JAMES - He is our Great Physician

In 1 & 2 PETER - He is our Chief Shepherd

In 1,2 & 3 JOHN, He is the Good Shepherd

In JUDE, He is the Great Shepherd

In REVELATION - He is the King of kings

The NAMES of GOD

The NAME OF JESUS

OUR GREAT SALVATION:

FAITH

PROPITIATION

JUSTIFICATION

SANCTIFICATION




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10,000 Reasons Wait On The Lord!

"I Have a TESTIMONY!" ~ "they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and their testimony"

  • Rev. Lorrie Gibbons
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  • How To Prepare Your Testimony

WORLD NEWS Briefing

WORLD NEWS Briefing

"ROUTE 66" - A Journey Through The Bible

"ROUTE 66" - A Journey Through The Bible
...Please Tour With Us!

Route 66 Recent BIBLE STUDIES:

  • EPHESIANS: He is our Riches!
  • PHILIPPIANS: He is our Joy!
  • COLOSSIANS: He is the Fullness of the Godhead!
  • 1 & 2 THESSALONIANS: He is our Soon Coming King!
  • 1 & 2 TIMOTHY: He is our Mediator!
  • TITUS: He is Our Faithful Pastor!
  • PHILEMON: He is Our Friend!
  • HEBREWS: Jesus Is My High Priest!
  • JAMES: He is Our Great Physician!

Which Way To God?

Which Way To God?

Talking to the CULTS !

  • Mormons (aka The Chuch of Latter Day Saints)
  • ISLAM - Sennels on "What is Islamization?"
  • ISLAM - A Muslim Cleric Speaks
  • ISLAM - Babylon & the Caliph AntiChrist
  • ISLAM - By Anne Barnhardt
  • ISLAM - Shocking Words from Barak Hussein Obama!
  • Jehovah's Witnesses - Part 1
  • Jehovah's Witnesses - Part 2
  • Bahai Faith

Just the medicine you need!

Just the medicine you need!

Wait On The Lord !

Wait On The Lord !

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_________________________________________ Jesus is the Sweetest Name I Know _________________________________________ Is That Wedding Music That I Hear? ...Songs of Expectation! _________________________________________ E.Dewey-Smith -When I visited Dewey's Decatur (Atlanta), GA Baptist church in Spring 2014, he gave me a first class taste of southern hospitality. He had me stand in front of his congregation of 5,000 and gave me a short interview and a very friendly welcome. The church sisters gave me lots of hugs too. I couldn't have been made more welcome! He asked if they could sing my favourite GTR song, ...that was easy to decide. I quickly picked "At the Cross". He is highly relational, an awesome leader and speaker. By the way...do you make people welcome when they come to your church? _________________________________________ Heritage Singers _________________________________________ Gilbert Earl Patterson, COGIC Pastor

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ANVIL Past & Popular Posts

  • FAQ about Understanding Spiritual Gifts - (A study from IBLP)
    "Now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I would not have you ignorant."               (1 Corinthians 12:1) "Spiritual...
  • President Trump on CBN (Christian Broadcast News)
    President Trump Sat Down with CBN News for an Exclusive Interview (Link)
  • The Midnight Cry ~ Ivan Parker
  • Israel ~ How Big Were The Grapes of Eshcol?
  • How Long Does It Take to Read Each New Testament Book
  • Are You All In? -Rick Santorum
    I recently (Nov 2013) was on a business trip to San Antonio, Texas, where I attended "Cornerstone Church", Pastor John Hagee's...
  • Mutating DNA
    Ed's Note:   This is Part 2 in a series on the changing evangelical church. ~ St. Mark Related :  Part 1:   Is Your Church Going Pu...
  • I Stand Amazed ~ Thompson/Phelps
  • Redeemed ~ Gaithers
  • A Church Is A Soul-Saving Company...Or It Is Nothing! ~ Spurgeon

Tough Love For Singles


Tips for Loving Tough

By Dr. James Dobson

Tough Love For Singles

Let me get very specific with those of you who are single but wish not to be. (No insult is intended to those who are single by design and wish to remain unmarried. That is a legitimate choice which should be respected by friends and family alike.) I have listed 16 suggestions that will help you conform to the principles of loving toughness in matters of the heart.

  1. Don’t let the relationship move too fast in its infancy. The phrase “too hot not to cool down” has validity. Take it one step at a time.
  2. Don’t discuss your personal inadequacies and flaws in great detail when the relationship is new. No matter how warm and accepting your friend may be, any great revelation of low self-esteem or embarrassing weaknesses can be fatal when interpersonal “valleys” occur. And they will occur.
  3. Remember that respect precedes love. Build it stone upon stone.
  4. Don’t call too often on the phone or give the other person an opportunity to get tired of you.
  5. Don’t be too quick to reveal your desire to get married—or that you think you’ve just found Mr. Wonderful or Miss Marvelous. If your partner has not arrived at the same conclusion, you’ll throw him or her into panic.
  6. Most important: Relationships are constantly being “tested” by cautious lovers who like to nibble at the bait before swallowing the hook. This testing procedure takes many forms, but it usually involves pulling backward from the other person to see what will happen. Perhaps a foolish fight is initiated. Maybe two weeks will pass without a phone call. Or sometimes flirtation occurs with a rival. In each instance, the question being asked is, “How important am I to you and what would you do if you lost me?” An even more basic issue lies below that one. It wants to know, “How free am I to leave if I want to?” It is incredibly important in these instances to appear poised, secure and equally independent. Do not grasp the other person and beg for mercy. Some people remain single throughout life because they cannot resist the temptation to grovel when the test occurs.
  7. Extending the same concept, keep in mind that virtually every dating relationship that continues for a year or more and seems to be moving toward marriage will be given the ultimate test. A breakup will occur, motivated by one of the partners. The rejected individual should know that their future together depends on the skill with which he/she handles that crisis. If the hurting individual can remain calm, the next two steps may be reconciliation and marriage. If not, then no amount of pleading will change anything.
  8. Do not expect anyone to meet all your emotional needs. Maintain interest and activities outside the romantic relationship, even after marriage.
  9. Guard against selfishness in the relationship. Neither the man nor the woman should do all the giving. I once broke up with a girl because she let me take her to nice places, bring her flowers, buy her lunch, etc. I wanted to do these things, but expected her to reciprocate in some way. She didn’t.
  10. Beware of blindness to obvious warning signs that tell you that your potential husband or wife is basically disloyal, hateful, spiritually uncommitted, hooked on drugs or alcohol, given to selfishness, etc. Believe me, a bad marriage is far worse than the most lonely instance of singleness.
  11. Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without.
  12. Be careful to defend the “line of respect” even during a dating relationship. A man should open doors for a woman on a formal evening; a woman should speak respectfully of her escort when in public, etc. If you don’t preserve this delicate line when the foundations of marriage are being laid, it will be virtually impossible to construct them later.
  13. Do not equate human worth with flawless beauty or handsomeness! If you require physical perfection in your mate, he or she may make the same demands of you. Don’t let love escape you because of the false values of your culture. In the same vein, be careful not to compare yourself with others—which is the root of all inferiority.
  14. If genuine love has escaped you thus far, don’t begin believing “no one would ever want me.” That is a deadly trap that can destroy you emotionally! Millions of people are looking for someone to love. The problem is finding one another!
  15. Regardless of how brilliant the dating relationship has been, take time to “check your assumptions” with your partner before committing yourself to marriage. It is surprising how often men and women plunge into matrimony without ever becoming aware of major differences in expectation between them.

  16. For example:

    • Do you want to have children? How soon? How many?
    • Where will you live?
    • Will the wife work? How soon? How about after children are born?
    • Who will lead in the relationship? What does that really mean?
    • How will you relate to your in-laws?
    • How will money be spent?
    • Where will you attend church?

    These and dozens of other “assumptions” should be discussed item-by-item, perhaps with the help of a premarital counselor. Many future struggles can be avoided by coming to terms with potential areas of disagreement. If the differences are great enough, it is even possible that the marriage should never occur.

  17. Finally, sexual familiarity can be deadly to a relationship. In addition to the many moral, spiritual and physical reasons for remaining virgins until marriage, there are numerous psychological and interpersonal advantages to the exercise of self-control and discipline. Though it’s an old-fashioned notion, perhaps, it is still true that men do not respect “easy” women and often become bored with those who have held nothing in reserve. Likewise, women often disrespect men who have only one thing on their minds. Both sexes need to remember how to use a very ancient word. It’s pronounced “No!”
This material is excerpted from Dr. Dobson’s book Love Must Be Tough (copyright © 1983, 1996 by James Dobson, Inc.), published by Tyndale House Publishers, and is used by permission.

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