Mar 14, 2017

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 The Babylon Bee: Holy Spirit Unable to Move When Church Fog Machine Breaks



Holy Spirit Unable To Move Through Congregation As Fog Machine Breaks

NASHVILLE, TN—Describing the experience as “tragic,” local worship leader Axl Johnson found his congregation totally unable to worship as the church’s primary fog machine malfunctioned right in the middle of the Sunday morning set. “We barely got through our new song. It was a real train wreck,” a visibly shaken Johnson told us while sipping a latte macchiato in the church cafe after service.


Just as the song, an original mashup between Hoobastank’s The Reason and Gungor’s Beautiful Things, reached its climax, a loud pop emanated from the 1600-watt machine positioned just in front of the Plexiglas pulpit. The device sputtered to a halt and ceased pumping out 30,000 cubic feet of water-based fog per minute into the venue. Onlookers said it totally and instantly killed their personal worship experience.
“It was horrific,” one parishioner recalled. “One moment I was caught up in the Spirit, worshiping the living God of all creation before His throne, and the next I was brought plummeting back down to earth. The mood was ruined.”
The church has ordered a full inspection of the remaining five fog machines as well as the laser light controllers as a preventative measure. “We’re not losing the Holy Spirit again, not on my watch anyway,” Johnson declared. “We’re a strong group on a life journey together. We’ll pick ourselves up and grow from this tragedy.”
At press time, the church is discussing a possible name change from “Legacy” to “The Gathering” to help the flock move on.

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